We all experience negative thoughts from time to time, but certain patterns of thinking, known as unhelpful thinking styles, can cause unnecessary stress, anxiety, and emotional distress. These thought patterns often distort reality, making situations seem more overwhelming than they actually are. The good news? Once you recognise these thinking styles, you can begin to challenge and change them.

10 Most common unhelpful thinking

Let’s explore some of the most common unhelpful thinking styles and ways to manage them.


1. All-or-Nothing Thinking (Black-and-White Thinking)

This style involves seeing things in extremes, with no middle ground. For example, you might think, “If I don’t succeed perfectly, I’ve completely failed.” There’s no room for anything in between.

Impact: This type of thinking sets unrealistic standards, leading to feelings of failure or inadequacy when those high standards aren’t met.

How to overcome it:

  • Recognise the grey areas. Most situations have multiple outcomes.
  • Ask yourself, “Is this really a total failure, or is it somewhere in between?”

2. Catastrophising (Making a Mountain out of a Molehill)

Catastrophising means jumping to the worst possible conclusion, often without considering more likely outcomes. You might think, “If I make a mistake at work, I’ll get fired and lose everything.”

Impact: This kind of thinking exaggerates negative possibilities, leading to unnecessary anxiety.

How to overcome it:

  • Challenge your thoughts by asking, “What is the most realistic outcome here?”
  • Consider how likely it is that the worst-case scenario will actually happen.

3. Overgeneralisation

In this thinking style, you take a single negative event and assume it will happen repeatedly. For instance, after one bad date, you might conclude, “I’ll never find a good partner.”

Impact: Overgeneralisation can make you feel stuck, as though one mistake or bad experience defines your future.

How to overcome it:

  • Focus on the specific event, rather than making broad assumptions.
  • Remind yourself that one incident does not define all future outcomes.

4. Mental Filtering

Mental filtering involves focusing only on the negative aspects of a situation while ignoring the positives. Even if 95% of a project goes well, you might obsess over the 5% that didn’t.

Impact: This thinking style can lead to a skewed perception of reality, amplifying the negatives and minimising the positives.

How to overcome it:

  • Make an effort to identify positive aspects of the situation. Write them down if necessary.
  • Ask yourself, “Am I giving equal attention to the positives?”

5. Should Statements

When you place rigid demands on yourself or others by thinking in terms of “should,” “must,” or “ought,” you set yourself up for frustration. For example, “I should be perfect at this” or “People should always treat me fairly.”

Impact: These expectations are often unrealistic and lead to disappointment or guilt when they’re not met.

How to overcome it:

  • Replace “should” with “could.” This gives you more flexibility and reduces pressure.
  • Recognise that perfection or fairness are ideals, not guarantees.

6. Emotional Reasoning

Emotional reasoning happens when you assume that your emotions reflect reality. For instance, “I feel anxious, so this situation must be dangerous,” even if there’s no real threat.

Impact: This style makes it hard to separate your feelings from facts, leading to decisions based on emotion rather than logic.

How to overcome it:

  • Acknowledge your emotions but also ask, “What evidence do I have to support this feeling?”
  • Try to balance emotional and rational thinking.

7. Personalisation

Personalisation occurs when you blame yourself for things outside your control, or assume everything others do is a direct reaction to you. For example, “My friend is upset, so I must have done something wrong.”

Impact: This thinking style can lead to guilt, shame, and a lowered sense of self-worth.

How to overcome it:

  • Consider other explanations for what’s happening. Ask, “Is it possible there are other reasons for this situation?”
  • Remember, not everything is about you, and people’s actions are influenced by many factors.

8. Labelling

Labelling involves assigning a negative, sweeping label to yourself or others based on one instance. For example, after making a mistake, you might think, “I’m such an idiot.”

Impact: This creates a fixed identity around failure, making it harder to move past mistakes.

How to overcome it:

  • Challenge labels by focusing on specific behaviours, not the whole person. “I made a mistake” is much healthier than “I’m a failure.”
  • Avoid generalising one event to your entire character.

9. Mind Reading

This occurs when you assume you know what others are thinking, often imagining they’re judging or criticising you. For example, “She didn’t smile, so she must not like me.”

Impact: Mind reading leads to unnecessary anxiety and misinterpretation of others’ behaviour.

How to overcome it:

  • Ask for clarification instead of assuming. “I noticed you seemed quiet, is everything okay?”
  • Challenge the thought by asking yourself, “Do I really know what they’re thinking?”

10. Fortune Telling

Fortune telling involves predicting that things will turn out badly, often without evidence. For instance, “I’ll fail this exam” before you’ve even taken it.

Impact: This creates self-fulfilling prophecies, as negative expectations can influence outcomes.

How to overcome it:

  • Focus on the present rather than trying to predict the future. “What can I do right now to improve the situation?”
  • Gather facts to counter your negative predictions.

How to Break the Cycle of Unhelpful Thinking:
  1. Awareness – The first step is recognising when you’re engaging in these thinking patterns.
  2. Challenge Your Thoughts – Ask yourself if your thoughts are based on evidence or assumptions.
  3. Reframe – Try to replace unhelpful thoughts with more balanced, realistic alternatives.
  4. Practise Self-Compassion – Be kind to yourself and recognise that it’s okay to have negative thoughts, but they don’t have to define you.

Food for Thought :

Just like adopting a balanced, nutritious diet can improve your physical health, working to break unhelpful thinking patterns will improve your mental health. It may take time and effort, but by feeding your mind with more constructive thoughts, you can cultivate greater mental clarity, resilience, and overall well-being.

Unhelpful thinking styles can significantly affect your mood and stress levels, but with practise, you can learn to manage them. By challenging these patterns, you not only improve your mental health but also gain a more balanced, realistic view of the world.

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